Explore the complexities of sea level change in this AGU Fall Meeting 2009 Birch Lecture titled "A Eulogy for Eustasy." Delivered by J. X. Mitrovica from Harvard University's Earth and Planetary Sciences department, the lecture challenges traditional concepts of uniform global sea level changes. Delve into topics such as the compensation model, parallel strand lines, ocean cycling, and the Last Interglacial period. Examine the limitations of the "bathtub model" and investigate the impact of ice sheet melting on global sea levels. Gain insights into tide gauge analysis, long-term trends, and the role of satellite fingerprints in understanding sea level variability. Conclude with an exploration of meltwater pulse events and the effects of the West Antarctic Ice Sheet melting on global sea level patterns.