Explore the evolution of online identity verification and authentication in this 50-minute LASCON conference talk. Delve into the historical context of the famous "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog" meme and its relevance 25 years later. Gain insights into the current challenges and future opportunities in user identity, online authentication, and access management. Examine the role of artificial intelligence and machine learning in addressing these issues. Learn about various authentication methods, including passwords, multifactor authentication, and the FIDO standard. Discuss the complexities of federated identity, access management, and the concept of zero trust. Analyze the impact of AI and machine learning on the identity space, exploring successful scenarios, pitfalls, and potential cautionary tales for technologists and policymakers.